Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Frozen

I'm laying in my bed facing up, looking at the whirling fan...listening to Robbie Williams singing in my ears... "not sure I understand. this role I've been given...I sit and talk to God, and He just laughs at my plans...my head speaks a language, I don't understand..." its almost hypnotic. I feel one with it.

The room is dark with the lights off and curtains drawn. Perfect. I realise if I lay like this, I feel my insides going numb. I don't feel anything. My eyes are open wide but I'm just staring into space. The only thing I hear, besides the song, is the sound of my breathing. Feel like I'm under a spell, a spell of peace. Numerous thoughts are running in my mind, as if in a frenzy. but a strange calm has fallen over me...as if time has stopped and the world has come to a standstill.

I almost feel crucified by an invisible force, but there's no pain, no tears. Everything around me is frozen...

I want to get up and go out, but just cant move. My body refuses to respond to anything...feel paralysed.

And slowly, I drift away...

16 comments:

milo said...

halo miss frozen..nw i knw y u nt pickin d phone;-)

The man in the box said...

hmm...one person I really like very much said, "We are most alive when confronting death!"

Feeling alive are we?

Mirage said...

@milo: u got that right!

@maninthebox: i havent felt so 'alive' in years!

desperado said...

the best time to analyse life .
all alone n just u no one else not even in thoughts.

n best music to listen for this time is Enigma- Cross of Changes

anubhav said...

ok , i will give ya an easy solution, take a pencil and draw a spiral on plate of fan when it is in motion( u just hold the pencil...and spiral shall be there..)

Now next time u r in ur cruxification stage u'll not only be frozen but u 'll doze soon enough..

and hypnotic ofcourse..for further guidance u can ping me..:D

Mirage said...

@dhruv: oh yes enigma's awesome!!

@anubhav: lol! i don't wanna b hypnotised man! but i'll ping u anyway!

amod!! said...

well u weren't frozen...u were lazy in simple words! There's so much to do yaar, but this laziness kills me...
my piece of music under these circumstances: Coming Back to Life, Pink Floyd

anuj said...

U only see what ur eyes want to see
how can i feel what u wanted to be
ur FROZEN when ur hearts not open...........ummmmmm....

sorry cant hum that tune. Well, when u sense ur breathing that the best time to talk to urslf. Sounds insane...:P

Mirage said...

@amod: ooh yea...i guess i didnt think of it that way! but now that u mention it, i was feeling awfully lazy!!

@anuj: lol! i knw it does!

sriram said...

and ye drift away into a deep slumber...
well those kinda solitary moments are my most cherished...standin alone in the ground watchin the rain...stand in da terrace and gaze at da stars..

Mirage said...

@sriram: yea man its the best way to calm ur nerves! lost in the serenity of the night...tho i hardly see any stars these days!

hit said...

oh u just needed to change the song,perhaps angels by robbie williams?

Kroopa Shah (Kr00pz) said...

Hey, its been a while since you posted this so I hope you are feeling ok now

Mirage said...

@hit: oh yes thts a cool song too

@kroopa: yea i'm absolutely fine thnx! just ran out of ideas thts all!! ;)

MS said...

never listened to Robbie Williams, but it happens to me when I listen to Klaus Schulze.Have u heard?

jon said...

horoscope match info is so cheesy but we were looking at it anyway...why i dont know. I guess it is fun to play around online. Anyway, I saw your horoscope match posts and though it was cool...Alright, well...have a great night, I am back to horoscope match surfing LOL : )

Jon