Thursday, July 30, 2009

The next chapter

Like most of you predicted, I wasn't able to stay away too long! So here I am, beginning a new post, a new chapter of the second act of life. I hope I last this one out.

I celebrated my 1st wedding anniversary on July 18. Can you believe it has already been a whole year? I can't. It's as if it were only yesterday that I was getting jitters about marriage. Though time has zoomed by, it has left some very major impressions on my life. You see, married life is not the blissful journey I thought it to be, rather, wished it to be. It isn't bad, but it makes you grow up real fast, whether you like it or not.

Soon after the honeymoon, hubby and I were staying together, but not with my in-laws. Boy, what chaos! I didn't know the first thing about running a home! It was literally madness in the first couple of months - I couldn't cook so that added to the mess. Somehow, with help from my mum-in-law and mom, I got things going. But the loneliness killed me. I wasn't working at the time, so the empty walls of the house bored me to death.

During this time, my father-in-law's (Dad) health deteriorated. He was diagnosed with stomach cancer and his condition showed no sign of improvement. That is when we took a call to move back in with my in-laws. It turned out to be a life saver for me. Not only has it helped me learn the ropes, but has also given me a chance to get to know everyone better. There were times when I had to be at the hospital with Dad for hours. Cancer has a knack of taking a toll on everyone's lives. It sure did on me, because I felt connected to this new family, shared their sorrow as if it were my own.

Dad passed away in March this year. The house is suddenly quiet, devoid of any real joy. My happy-go-lucky mum-in-law puts up a brave face, but I know she misses him the most. I can't even imagine what hubby went through...he's without a father now. The thought itself makes me feel like something's died inside me. But the best thing about all this was that we were united in our grief.

Things have somewhat gone back to normal. I've quit my job and have started freelancing from home. This way I get to be with mum-in-law more often. When I look back at this one year, I realize it has changed me. I am no longer the dreamy-eyed girl I once was, but a more practical individual now. I'm still wishful at times, but try and remain grounded. I wonder what the years to come will bring in, but I know now, for cerain, that I won't be beaten.