Sunday, November 27, 2005


Shut inside
That dark dingy cell
Trying to find a way out
Unable to take the gloom anymore
Tired of living in the murk
Scared of being alone forever
Screaming in frenzy
For somebody to rescue me
And set my soul free…
Nobody appears.

Conscious of being on my own
I grope about like a blind
Feeling the bare walls
With my hands
Looking for an escape
From that cage
Desperate for freedom
And then
I find a door
My spirits rise…
I hope to see light
With shaking hands I turn the knob…
It’s locked.

I sink to the floor in anguish
And waiting

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Hide and Seek

As I watch my 6 yr old niece running and shrieking at the top of her voice, chasing her friend around the house, I feel nostalgic all of a sudden. I find myself thinking of the time when I was 6, when I used to run around without a care in the world. When I used to go crazy over cotton candy, bawl and make a scene so my folks would buy me my favorite toy, make sand castles, get scared of a rubber mask, be kutty wid my friend and abba the next min! When i sneaked into my mom's room and smear all her lipsticks on my face, and wrap her dupatta around me like a saree and pretend to be a famous movie star! When my favourite meal was Maggi and a treat meant getting to eat a whole packet of Gems, without sharing! When I got excited about going to the railway station and look at the trains, or looking up and waving at the aeroplanes that went by, stupidly believing that they're waving back! When getting a 'star' in my notebook meant getting treated to an ice cream. When getting BonBon chocolate biscuits in tiffin was considered a delicacy. When I got nightmares of having to apply Dettol on my cuts and bruises and when band-aids were 'in fashion'!!

Being a kid was so much fun! I just stood and gazed at my niece, lost in thought...when all of a sudden, she looked up and called, "Bujiii, lets play hide and seek, but I'll hide and you'll seek!" I smiled and turned to face the wall and start the long count from 1 to 10...realising, I'm not so grown up after all! The kid is hiding inside me...all I have to do, is find her.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

A bitter reality

This is a very personal post. I was contemplating whether I shud post it or not, but I had to get it out ...its killing me.

Its about 2 of the most wonderul people I know and brother and bhabhi.
They are the happy-go-lucky kinda people you come across...the ones that find a way to make you smile no matter how down youre feeling. They are the ones who will lend you a patient ear, hear you out and then find a solution to make all your troubles melt away. The ones that go out of the way to help you get out of a sticky situation. The ones that smile when they feel like crying, or laugh so you wont notice their tears.

My brother and bhabhi got married in February 2000. We were all so happy. My bhabhi is a jewel and my brother knew what she's worth. They love each other like crazy. In these 5 years theyve helped each other so much, and they have been rewarded well for their efforts. They have everything, but are still incomplete. They dont have a child. They cant have a child. And this bitter truth cuts through them like a knife.

They have been trying to have a baby for the past 3 years, but everything they do just falls short. Everytime, they come home, disappointed. And still dont say a word to anyone. They put on a brave face and smile through the pain. But I know, how lonely they feel. I see the yearning in their eyes when they see a baby. I see them look at each other with despair when they hear that some friend of theirs is expecting. I have seen them hug each other and cry softly. And I feel helpless, standing on the sidelines wishing there's something I can do to make them happy...

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

And again....

The tag season is on...and its catching on pretty fast! Its caught me twice...and tho I've tried, there's no way out!

I. 7 things i want to do before i die:
1. live!!
2. find a job where the lesser i work, the more i get paid! any ideas?
3. learn to drive!! the car turns into a monster the minute i touch the wheel!
4. open a dog shelter
5. make a place in the hearts of people who matter
6. go on a world tour
7. find my kinda guy...they've just stopped manufacturing them!! :(

II. 7 things i can do:
1. bake a cake!!
2. dance...sort of!
3. tidy up!
4. sleep for hours on end
5. bug people!
6. blow someone off for even trying to hurt an animal!! grr
7. be sugary sweet to people i like...and mean it!!

III. 7 things i say the most:
1. Oh f***!
2. Oh my gawd!
3. Seriously...
4. Shut up!5. Yeaaa?
6. Shit yaar!
7. No way!!

IV. 7 things i cant do:
1. Study!
2. be someone i'm not
3. cant drive...yet! :(
4. sit still without music
5. trust people easily
6. cant make conversation
7. cant look eye to eye

V. 7 things that attract me to the opposite sex:
1. sense of humour
2. height
3. wit
4. honesty
5. confidence
6. big hands!!
7. sophisticated sense of dressing

VI. 7 Celebrity crushes:
1. John Abraham!! Mmmuah!
2. Tom Cruise
3. Keanu Reeves
4. Abhishek Bachhan
5. Hrithik Roshan
6. Jude Law
7. Jason Statham

VII. 7 people i want to tag:
This is tough!
1. Milo
2. Jayant
3. Triple Six
4. Steve
5. Cherubic Chipmunk
6. Anuj
7. Dhruv

Whew! Done wid it....please people no more tags!! Please...please...please!!! <:O

Friday, November 04, 2005


Walking along that familiar stretch
Times gone by, reflect in my mind
Smiles, whispers, moments shared
And then, regret, for being so blind

Blind for believing in fantasies
Naïve for trusting a lying snake
Crazy enough to fall in love
Foolish to put myself at stake

Locked myself in an illusion
Lived a façade for so long
With your honeyed words and false charm
Couldn’t place right from wrong

Then the bubble burst suddenly
And reality stepped in
But it was already too late
You’d already sunk your teeth in

You clawed at my trust, ripped my heart out
Hacked away my love, and slaughtered my soul
I whimpered, as life ebbed away
Betrayed, I let death take its toll

Days, months, years passed
The pain is still etched within
Still trying to let go of the past
Still trying, to live again...

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Happy Diwali!!!

Hey everyone! Wishing you all a very very happy Diwali!! Have a blast....but go easy on the crackers! :D God bless!