Sunday, August 07, 2005

Ayesha

I still remember the first time I saw you...a small, shabby looking kid, hair all messed up, your uniform awkwardly hanging on your thin body. But you had an infectious smile, so when you grinned at me, I couldnt help but smile back. You were the first friend I had, because I was too shy to talk to any of the other kids. You befriended me when the others ignored me. That was back in KG; since then, we became inseparable.
We discovered we lived pretty close, so we were in the same school bus. It was fun sitting in the last seat- coz it was the biggest in the bus- talking and laughing, sharing secrets and sometimes quarreling over little things! You always gave in, in the end.
We were together until class IV, when there was reshuffling and you had to go to another section. But you were so lonely there, that your parents had to request the principal to change your section. We were together again. But I had new friends and couldn't be with you all the time. You used to beg me to play with you...I wish I had listened.
We soon moved to senior school and this time you couldn't be with me, in my class. But you always came to meet me in the lunch break. I forced to you to be friends with my other pals. But I was still your 'bestest' friend! I wish I could've understood how lucky I was.
As we grew up, distances between us grew too. My friends used to make fun of you...and I supported them. I can't believe I was so vain and selfish. You used to call but I didnt take your calls. You invited me to every birthday party you threw, but I always turned you down. I was happy in my own world, didnt think I needed you. I was so wrong.
In class eleven a classmate gave me 2 of your envelopes addressed to me. You had sent them through some teacher. I opened them, thinking it would be yet another invite to some stupid party. But they were letters that you had written in your broken handwriting. They said that you were very sick and wanted to see me. You missed my friendship. I knew this time something was really wrong. I called at your house, and they told me you were in the hospital...but they wouldn't tell me what happened. I had a sick feeling inside on my way to the hospital. I met your parents, your mom looked so sad. They said you were in the ICU. I couldnt talk to you because you were in a coma, but I could see you. My heart was sinking. I couldn't believe what they just said. Only a few weeks ago I saw you in school, you looked fine. How can you be in coma?? Its just not possible. They took me to the room where I could see you. I looked through a glass pane, and saw you surrounded by tubes, and needles stuck in your skinny arms. You looked so vulnerable. All the times we shared, all our memories washed over me as I gazed at you. I wanted to talk to you, to tell you how sorry I am, to ask for your forgiveness. But it was too late. You couldn't hear me.
On January 9, 2001, I got a call saying you passed away. It hit me like a bolt of lightening. You couldn't die. Not without talking to me one last time. I had so much to tell you, so much to ask you. But you just went away. You died without forgiving me. You died too soon.
You lived your short life with zest, Ayesha. You considered me your best friend but I was unfortunate to understand how precious and special you were. You've taught me so many things about friendship and love. Never again will I betray a friend. Never again will I choose a friend over the other. And I won't wait till the end to apologise to a friend. I'll never forget you... Ayesha, you with your sunshine smile. Happy friendships' day.

37 comments:

Jithu said...

hmm.. wordless.. thts life..

hit said...

some friendships just never die. surely there are a lot of prayers for ayesha,yours upmost.
happy friendships' day. love your friends.

>|' ; '| said...

like jithu said, wordless.

Mr. Maverick said...

Prayers for Ayesha!

:|

Jayant said...

SHIT! I don't know what to say! I am speechless!
My prayers for Ayesha too. May her soul rest in peace.
I thought things like this only happened in stories and movies, but I had never imagined this to be true for someone, having never experienced any such thing myself!
You must have been devastated!
My wishes for you too, and Happy Friendship Day!

D'yer Mak'er said...

And the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would she ever doubt the way I feel
About her in my heart
If tomorrow never comes...


some lessons are far more difficult to learn n' comtemplate...

Mirage said...

@jithu: yea it is...

@hit: I've learnt my lesson. I love my friends, each one of them.

@poison: wordless and full of regret... thnx fr stopping by

@mediocre: Thanku

@anyone...: I wish all this hadn't happened. But thanx for praying for ayesha. N happy frndships' day to u too.

@stranger: If only I had one more day...

Random said...

may you carry the spirit of her smile in all of your other relationships.

the Monk said...

Hey,
Good one...touching...Happy friendships day...

shrek said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
shrek said...

“ Childhood days so sweet and tender,
Little things that we remember.
But too soon the good times pale,
As we slip beyond the veil.”
“Memories” Ethel Kline
Amen! To the spirit of friendship!

shaan said...

really touchging ...
i wish whereever Ayesha is .. if she cud read this.
btw Happy Friendship Day

Vinu said...

Hey mirage....

Nice one...and tell u, really touching...
Can vibrate wit ur feelings coz i had gone thru smewt similar condition..

Nowadays friendships are so prioritized that we seldom try to remember old pals or maintain old comradeship...But good that u realised th fault and learnt frm it...SO that ur future life may bright with friends...Mayb tht was wt Ayesha wanted also..her mission of her life..mayb...

Happy friendship YEAR's.....

Stone said...

poignant!!!

***
take good care of urself!!!

Mirage said...

@rash: I hope so too

@monk: Thnx man...happy friendships' day to u too! whr hv u been??

@shrek: Amen

@shaan: I wish I didnt have to write this...
Happy friendships' day to u as well.

@Vinu: I knw she always wanted me to be happy...
Happy Friendship years to u too!

@stone: thnx man...i have a guardian angel watching over me now...

desperado said...

a belated happy frndship day
a touching piece
some times tht u wish could just come back
but beautiful tht u still remember her n hope her smile n frndship stays with u forever

Anonymous said...

dont u dare write such stories again. How the hell can u make ur friends weep ?? Highly touching. Nobody in the world can fill ayeshas place but there r her memories.

Now may be i will have to be very good to all my friends. I just cant think without them.

Hey this is anuj.
*SIGH*
Happy Friendship Day ( To Ayesha As well, may u have a better next life ).

pills said...

that's really touching...
friendship: its a relation that links anyone and everyone

First Rain said...

Best Friends, or a friends' best,
Putting life to a gruelling test,
In a crowd if I lose your hand,
Know, at the exit gate, I shall stand.
Waiting.


May Ayesha find peace, and may you find many more true friends.

Happy Friendships Day!

anubhav said...

Often we tend to neglect people who are closest to us...touching story

May her soul rest in peace..

manjari said...

my prayers for ayesha.
like an angel she is watching over feeling proud she has u as a friend.

Mirage said...

@dhruv: thnx man. She's still close to my heart

@anuj: now u knw why I care for my all my friends so much...?!

@pills: friendship is what keeps us together, no matter what...

@First Rain: Nice of u to drop by! I knw Ayesha will help find my true friends and also help me to remain true to them...
Belated happy Friendships' Day to u too!

@anubhav: Thnx for ur prayers man...

@manjari: Thnku so much. Tht means a lot coming from u... n thnx for visiting!
What's ur URL?

arsi said...

Happy frienship day Ayesha!

milo said...

she made u smile, she made u cry, she made u cherish ur life n while gng she made u learn frm ur mistakes...
thanku Ayesha fr makin my frnd bestest!!

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Kroopa Shah (Kr00pz) said...

A very touching post. I am sorry to hear about your friend. Hugs to you.

Naresh said...

really heart touching story! frnz r just 2 precious 2 ignore or lose!

manu said...

that is ok, pal. childhood is the time when we all make those mistakes. but at least we used to learn from our mistakes then.

and to get a true friend is not easy and to miss one is too big a loss. my prayers for the soul of your friend.

Mirage said...

@arsi: thnku for visiting

@milo: Thnx yaar! I'm glad u think so!

@anonymous: wow i didnt knw they cud spam ur blog too! thnx but no thnx buddy!

@kroopa: thnx so much! really needed that!

@naresh: yea...n i had to learn it the hard way

@manu: thanku... :l

Arz000n said...

Oh my god!!

I recently had a similar experience (read it here) when my colleague with whom I spent 4 yrs of my engg, committed suicide. That was painful to hear.

May Ayesha's soul rest in peace.

manjari said...

my url is
manjarimusings.blogspot.com

venus said...

ohh wow, very touchy friendship greetings..
Happy Friendship to you too.
Time never waits for anyone dear. I lose this moment, it's gone, and is never coming back. So, choose very wisely about whatever you do, cos, you may repent some day that you didn't do something which you could have, and things would have been different. I am very sure, that innocent heart never acknowledged your lost interest, and you are thre same best friend to her.

khelnayak said...

hi, came here through pills' link on his blog.
Indeed touching. Thanks for writing such a wonderful post. First i really thought it was fiction but going thru comments, i realized its true. We can understand what u must have gone through.

Three cheers for the spirit of friendship.

Mirage said...

@arzoon: I'm really sorry abt ur friend...she'll always be alive in ur heart.

@venus: I really hope so... thnx fr visiting

@khelnayak: Thankyou so much... n thnx for stopping by

Danko said...

touching.

sainathkm said...

hi...
it was really worst incident which could have happened, Anyways Prayers for Ayesha.. Good blog buddy

Priya said...

Hi,

I found it really sad. But I don't agree with your idea of 'not preferring one friend over the other'. I think if your friend is pretty close to only you, then you need to be close to him/her. If your friend also has other friends, he/she wouldn't mind your having other friends, right?

Priya