Saturday, July 23, 2005

What does it mean to be a lover?

The following is an extract from the book, Chicken Soup for the Couple's Soul. This specific article is written by one of the authors, Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D.

What does it mean to be a lover? It is more than just being married to or making love to someone. Millions of people are married, millions of people have sex- but few are real lovers. To be a real lover, you must commit to and participate in a perpetual dance of intimacy with your partner.
You are a lover when you appreciate the gift that your partner is, and celebrate that gift every day.
You are a lover when you remember that your partner does not belong to you- he or she is on loan from the universe.
You are a lover when you realize that nothing that happens between you will be insignificant, that everything you say in the relationship has the potential to cause your beloved joy or sorrow, and everything you do will either strengthen your connection or weaken it.
You are a lover when you understand all this, and thus wake up each morning filled with gratitude that you have another day in which to love and enjoy your partner.
When you have a lover in your life, you are richly blessed. You have been given the gift of another person who has chosen to walk beside you. He or she will share your days and your nights, your bed and your burdens. Your lover will see secret parts of you that no one else sees. He or she will touch places on your body that no one else touches. Your lover will seek you out where you have been hiding, and create a haven for you within safe, loving arms.
Your lover offers you an abundance of miracles every day. He has the power to delight you with his smile, his voice, the scent of his neck, the way he moves. She has the power to banish your lonliness. He has the power to turn the ordinary into sublime. She is your doorway to heaven here on earth.

Across the years
I will walk with you-
in deep, green forests;
on shores of sand;
and when our time
on earth is through
in heaven, too,
you will have,
my hand.
-Robert Sexton


Deepak Jeswal said...

Hi Megha, my first visit here.

I never knew such a book existed. Will try to catch up on it.

Hmm, lunch at Chawri Bazar - sounds interesting -old Delhi is so full of these lovely dhabas. And I travelled on Metro from Trinagar to Shahadara (just for the fun of it) - its truly awesome. Same fears - hope it doesnt get dirty, and hope some of those hi-tech things dont go dysfunctional after some time!

Do drop by my at my blog sometime

(Phew, lemme check, hope I hv not made any spelling mistake to get ya annoyed ;-P )

Take care, Deepak

milo said...

hi megs..wats happening dear???
chicken soup;lover;-)

hit said...

hmm, sounds all rosy rosy. but experience teaches best i guess..

manu said...


i would like to agree with milo. but on an after thought, me thinks its ok. at this age if you are not reading all these, then there is some trouble.

ya, ya, i know, love, the purest virtue of all times and all that. (yawn) but i personally feel that every relationship has a big 'I' in the centre.

D'yer Mak'er said...

hmm...agreed!...but the irony always know what it takes....only after you belong no where!

p.s. take a look

Mirage said...

@deepak: hehe u didnt annoy me in the least! btw thnx for visiting my space

@milo: yea well, u knw how depressing being sick can be! cudnt lay my hands on anything else!

@hit: i guess...

@manu: i totally agree but see thats where the problem is. if love cant be unselfish, its not love at all!

@strangers'inc: thts sad, but true... :(

MS said...

The Sick Rose (by William Blake)

O Rose, thou art sick!
The invisible worm
That flies in the night,
In the howling storm,

Has found out thy bed
Of crimson joy:
And his dark secret love
Dose thy life destroy.

I do believe the article is just a joke, in the real life u can find none.How come one sacrifieces themselves just because of another person?It is nonesense and impossible that you commit yourself and not expect the other to do so?
The older I get, the more pessimistic I get.In fairy stories there are loads of that but in reality,just the name of it.

The Clod and the Pebble ( by William Blake )

"Love seeketh not Itself to please,
"Nor for itself hath any care,
"But for another gives its ease,
"And builds a Heaven in Hell's despair."

So sang a little Clod of Clay
Trodden with the cattle's feet,
But a Pebble of the brook
Warbled out these metres meet:

"Love seeketh only Self to please,
"To bind another to Its delight,
"Joys in another's loss of ease,
"And builds a Hell in Heaven's despite."

Random said...

Isn’t love a function of genetics? The subconscious decisions that the eyes and the nose make to secrete hormones and other neurological chemicals? :- )

Why sick?

Rahul said...

got here through first rain's blog! Nice post on the metro. Somebody once said the people always get the facilities that they make themselves deserving of; and somebody else said that people everywhere are the same, only cloaked by societies they live in! But iam disappointed they didnt make it underground throughout...

Mirage said...

@MS: I'm sorry u feel that way. Btw nice verses...

@rash: hehe! We're all made up of chemical, physical and biological components! Wht else did u expect!?

@rahul: yea tht wudve been great! thnx for stopping by! :)

The man in the box said...

Shit! the love bug is spreading...

nin said...

"Across the years
I will walk with you-
in deep, green forests;
on shores of sand;
and when our time
on earth is through
in heaven, too,
you will have,
my hand."
WOW!!!!!...simply superb.....
Mirage ...great job....

Kroopa Shah (Kr00pz) said...

All I am going to say to this lovely post is- Very true...

Vinu said...


Nice exerpts from Chicken soup...This buk got a wide range of such stories....

Anyways that poem was too gud...

desperado said...

will nice article
guess loves makes u complete but it also causes a lot of heartburn.

it can make u or ruin u
hope it only makes everyone's lives

n ya i missed ridin on a metro despite being in Delhi.:(

Mirage said...

@maninthebox: yea! its hovering over my head, but hasnt bitten me yet!

@avik: dude, that poem isnt my creation! Its Robert Sexton's... tho I wish it was mine! ;)

@kroopa: Sure is, but its kinda unreal dntcha think!?

@vinayak: yea it has some good stories. btw like I said before, the poem isnt mine! Thnx for stopping by!

@dhruv: Sure does! No pain, no gain!
Where r u man? longtime no hear...

Random said...

lifeheadon is a brilliant identity for a blog.

Jithu said...

isnt love unconditional? unbinded my everything that is mundane?

Kroopa Shah (Kr00pz) said...

Well, maybe it is unreal. I guess you have to see beyond the romance as well. I mean if my partner loves me and is there for me at all times but is a lazy ass and does nothing else all day then I sure would be pissed!!

Mirage said...

@rash: thnx! u knw wht it was called earlier? pileofcrap! Its better tht I chnged it!

@jithu: sure is... only we make it otherwise

@kroopa: hell thts somethin I cant even imagine of!! If I'm gonna b out shopping and partying, some1 has to do the household chores rt!? ;)

Vivhyd said...

mirage.. nice one.. but it doesn't work this way in this world does it? lots of niceties and most of it fiction..