Friday, December 14, 2007

Another end

A lot of things ended for me this year. In terms of studies, career, relationships and people. First I left Mumbai after college got over, and along with it some close friends. Then my relationship ended. My job followed suit. And along the way, a lot of my loved ones passed away too.

The most recent death was of my sister-in-law’s father. When mom broke the news to me, I did not believe it. He wasn’t old, he wasn’t unwell, he wasn’t an alcoholic or a smoker- he quietly went about doing his daily tasks… then how could he just…go? I didn’t believe the news until I saw him- lying lifeless. The man who was so full of life, was now, just lying on the floor. They say he had a massive heart attack- probably didn’t feel it. How the hell can he not feel it?? If only someone was there with him, if only he wasn’t alone, maybe he’d still be here with us, cheerful and happy

I remember the way he used to greet me- “Hello, my dear! How are you?”- not like some people who just say things and don’t mean it. He meant everything he said. This happy-go-lucky kind of guy, who lives- lived- for the moment is no longer here. I was afraid how my niece would take it, but even though she cried a bit for her grandpa, she was calm after a while. I guess that’s how he wanted us to be… to continue with our lives, without missing him too much.

***

Crematoriums, I thought, would be all the more depressing. But strangely, I found it peaceful. To see him go like that, I thought, he’s finally at peace. Maybe now he’s truly free. Although we all miss him terribly and it’s going to be long before we get used to living without him, we know life will go on. Just wish him well, wherever he is, watching over us.

8 comments:

The Lover said...

Sorry to know that, but life has to go on. Just be happy, he is in a much better world than this one...

c e e d y said...

my deepest condolences....have had seen lot of loved ones death at a early age....you will miss them forever....be at peace with yourself

anuj said...

Years go by, people go by, times fly and we keep watching along .. sometimes with a laugh and many a times with grief .. nd days, years and centuries move by .. nevr really caring about the past ..

but for us .. this is time ..cause this is our life n we remember whom we have been with ..evn if thy r not their .. n m sure he will be there .. in happy memories of urs..

I just wish tht the next year has much much better things in store fr u .. n nxt year we get to read 'wat an year it was' title ..

best wishes :)

Rohit Talwar said...

I remember clearly how I felt when I went to the creamtorium the first time - it was strangely peaceful, yes, but there was this sudden realisation about life cycles, seeing people lifeless and others helpless - and then the way some have to do stuff over there. I thought maybe, somewhere, the person's duties are over and the rest will have to make up for his/her absence. Tragic but so true. And hard to believe.

I hope your niece will always be ok with it. Terrible thing to happen, but I am sure he is going to watch over the entire family.

Best.

Rohit Talwar said...

And yeah, hopefully, perhaps, down the line, that world is a better place. Hopefully.

monsooner said...

heartfelt condolences ... life is sometimes so cruel.

John F said...

Reflections over past are encouraged Mirage if you can keep them isolated from the pain they usually bring on. I am sorry for your losses, truly am and having lost someone very close to me some years ago I know how the pain feels. In fact around two years ago I had to go to a funeral of someone completely unkonw to me. I was moved beyond my deepest emotions. Check out my very first post that I ever wrote and you would know how i felt.

http://achingpen.blogspot.com/2007/07/ode-to-death.html

hotICE said...

life is like leaves of a tree in autumn... leaves dry up and are fall by the winds, giving way to some new ones. When one life ends, another one begins

Its a cycle... One day we will go too, making way for others, yet to be born and seen.

have strenth