The Magic of Classics

Finally! Some time away from the mundane life that I have! These days I'm being introduced to the word 'stress' in a big way. It's physical torture to sit in one place and stare at the computer! But there's something that works as a great stress buster for me and gives immediate relaxation: music! I'm waking up to the charm of old Hindi songs recently. I'm truly amazed at their simplicity.

Listening to these songs is such a beautiful reminder of a world that once was. The intricate way they describe emotions... feels so fragile and so pure. There are a hundred ways of saying the same things - love with shokhiyon me ghola jaye, grief with tujhse naraaz nahi zindagi, joy with pancchi banoo, nostalgia with najaane kyu or plain madness with junglee - each a beautiful, modest expression in itself. Just makes me feel so relieved and truly relaxed.

Guess it's true for every simple thing we come across. We're so busy trying to make our lives better, that we forget to appreciate the goodness of being natural. I know that sounds cliched but its true all the same. Just stop and think for a moment, that in this mad race where are we all headed, and what is it that we're looking for?

Now playing: Aaj phir jeene ki tamanna hai :)

The Bride

She tips her face elegantly
And dusts her cheeks with pink
Widens her eyes, fluttering lashes
Darkening them with kohl
She then puckers her lips
And paints them a deep red
Her neck, ears and forehead
Laden with jewels
The subtle scent of henna
Floating through the air
The melody of her bangles echoes
As she slips them on
Her dress sparkles in the bright yellow lights
Like diamonds in the rough
The watery music of her trinkets reverberates
As she takes slow, uncertain steps
Downcast eyes,
Bearing a demure look
Taking on the beauty of the night
She reflects an eternal glow
All eyes on her,
Greeting her with smiles
The girl that she once was
Has turned into a woman
They now call her: The Bride

Mixed Emotions

This past month has rushed by, without me getting to know it. Just flew by. Life suddenly feels like a roller coaster ride- exciting, yet intimidating. Seen and felt so much… just hope the happiness encircling me now lasts forever.

In a matter of less than 31 days, I juggled so many roles, all at once. I now belong to two families, instead of one. And I fell in love, all over again. Gosh, it really did happen real fast. My heart skips a beat when I think of the uncertainty that lies before me. But I’m also getting the “butterflies-in-my-stomach” feeling that one gets before stepping into something new and exciting. A barrel of mixed emotions… that’s how I’d define the last few days.

Hope the future is as fulfilling as the present.

One fine day…

There are times when life gives you surprises. Big ones. This is one of them.

In my 22 years, I have seen several ups and downs, in terms of my career, friendships, relationships and life, in general. I thought, I had more or less experienced every phase of life, and could deal with just about anything that came my way. I was wrong.

It was an ordinary, boring Tuesday, and I was just lazing around. Mum returned from one of her get-togethers and shook me out of my daydream. “Wake up! I have news for you!” She proceeded to tell me there’s a ‘rishta’ that’s come for me, and what a great guy he is, and his family is even nicer, yada yada. I ignored most of it, and lashed out at her when it started to get annoying.

The rest of my family gathered together for a “meeting” in the evening, and ripped apart, the profile of the guy. After about 45 mins of discussion, they declared him, “the perfect guy”. The next thing I knew, my profile and pictures were emailed to the family, and phones were ringing off the hook. What followed was a whole week of frustration, screaming, shouting and lots of tears.

The same week, on Saturday, his parents came to meet me. I was cordial. Everything went ‘well’, and they decided to call the boy to Delhi for a meeting. The whole of next week went by, as if in a moment. At first, when I met him, I thought he was this really knowledgeable, intelligent, mature, worldly-wise individual. But when we actually got talking, I realized there really was a fun side to him, and he allayed my fears of “our mental wavelength” not matching. Though I’ve met him only twice, I can’t deny the fact, that I did like him. He has this ‘genuineness’ about him that is truly unique. Now of course I can’t testify for everything, but for a first meeting, he made a pretty good impression.

So, the surprise part is that I am getting married. Today is the betrothal ceremony. I still can’t believe it, as it’s all happened so fast. And on top of that, it’s an arranged marriage. The wedding, of course will happen much later. But then again, I can’t say, with the way things are going. I just hope, I’ve made the right decision. Through all this, I’ve learnt one thing: if something has to happen, it will. And that everything is OK in the end.

Colourless

Life once was

a myriad of hues
Now drained of color
save for blues

Like day and night
like black and white
It’s dim and dull
devoid of light

The day you left
I bade goodbye
To pinks and reds
and shades of joy

Now I live
In tones of grey
Clinging to the past
A shadow of dismay

"I Love You"

Three words that can make a heart melt. Can bring a smile to your lips. Or tears to moist eyes. Three words that force you to dream aloud. And sometimes, shatter those dreams.

They say love’s a powerful feeling. It can move mountains. It can heal the deepest of wounds. But what happens if love itself was the cause of those deep wounds. I wonder what would heal them.

Love’s an addiction. If you can’t live with the person you’re in love with, you live with their memories. The way they gathered you in their arms, whispered promises in your ears and then sealed them with tender kisses. The smell of their skin feels as real as if they’re right there, sitting next to you. The night you lay in each other’s arms, wishing it would last forever, seems like yesterday. The rhythm of their heartbeat, mingled with yours is something you may never forget. No…it’s impossible to forget love.

If love was so grand, isn’t it worth fighting for?

Love Delirium

I reside in the State of Lonliness
I live with a box of broken dreams
A bride at the altar
A dethroned Queen
The one left out in the rain

Like a meek goat following her shepherd
hoping to find my meadow
I tread towards my illusory heaven,
I follow him
lost in a hypnotic trance

The venom of love
rushes through my veins
Can feel it absorbing my soul
Fading truth, diminishing life,
An undead corpse

That’s what’s become of me.

Last Dance

Why sit in the corner
Avoiding each other’s gaze
Feeling sad and helpless
For long gone days

The music surrounds our broken hearts
Luring us away from the lost romance
Please take my hands in yours
And then ask me to dance

Hold me while we sway
To the lonely night’s song
While the music flows through our veins
Nothing can go wrong

Move your body close to mine
We’re one, while we dance
United in our grief and pain
We’re lost in a trance

Feel the sweat on our skin
Feel our breaths intertwine
As we jive along with the tune
You and I become divine

Let’s forget the world tonight
For once, let’s take a chance
To free ourselves from the past
Oh sweetheart, won’t you dance
This last dance with me?


P.S. For what it’s worth, Happy Anniversary sweetheart…

Illegitimate

Memories hound me
Like ravens
Haunting a lonely lighthouse
Their cries
Piercing my heart

Every little thing
Becomes a painful cue
Of moments spent with you

The narrow lanes
Where we walked hand in hand
The seashore
Where we gazed at the horizon
And pondered over our lives

All of these
Remind me of a past long gone
And a future, that’ll never be

My hopes shatter
My dreams explode
Against the walls of my heart
Like waves crashing on the rocks

Questions surround me
The whys and the why nots
Of broken promises
Of incomplete vows
Of brief forevers
And a love
That does not belong…

The Love Omen

I grew up thinking I’d never fall in love. Or rather, no one can ever fall in love with me.

Well, I was wrong.

I never knew when love happened to me. I still have to pinch myself to believe it. But it’s true. Love is not an illusion. It’s real, so real. I can feel it all around me. Its in the wind, in the sun, in the clouds, on the ground I walk on, in the birds flying across the sky, in the laughter of a child, in the waves that hit the shore… its everywhere.

It’s amazing how complete you feel in the circle of someone’s arms. When you feel your hearts beating as one, in the same rhythm. When you look into their eyes, you know you want to gaze into them forever. You feel safe and protected, when you rest your head on their chest. When they hold your hand and promise you their love, you know it’s for real.

Love can do so much to a person. Can change the way they think. An atheist may start believing in the existence of God. Love can penetrate so deep that even the strongest people break down and cry. Nothing can match the passion you feel for each other, and all that matters is being together. No wonder they say love’s blind. But the sights a person ‘blinded’ by love can see, can never be felt by an ordinary person.

Its tough to stay in love. I know. But this is the most beautiful feeling I have ever experienced. I can’t bear the thought of losing the one I love, but spending my life with him seems like a distant dream. And now, I never want to wake up…

Abandoned

Illusive reality
Deceptive truths
Honest lies
Blissful miseries

False reflections
In those eyes
Fake affection
Phony smiles

Shattered myths
Destroyed fantasies
A gush of blood
Over frozen lives

Dazed, confused
Paralyzed by fate
Screaming in silence
Choking with hate

Broken. Wrecked. Scarred.
For life.

This is for my best friend. Take care sweetie. God bless you.

The Wait...

The countdown has begun
The wait is on
Moments turn to hours
Its been so long…

The pain increases
With each passing day
I listen to my heart
Searching for a way

The warmth of your arms
Seems like a dream
I’m afraid to wake up
Drowned in the tidal stream

I’m losing sleep
Counting the days
Lying still in the dark
I stare into space

Torn by the distance
Between our hearts
Intoxicated by love
My soul departs…

Incomplete

It’s strange, that the things you’ve been wanting to get away from are the things you miss most, when they aren’t there.

Little things- your desk, your cupboard, even the framed picture on your side-table… their absence makes a huge difference. My daily routine goes into a whirl without all of these.


People. We don’t realize their importance in our life until they’re not there. I was so used to seeing my mum around in the morning…calling out from the kitchen. Or dad, doing his exercise. Or my brother looking for the newspaper (that I rightfully claimed before him).Or even the maid going about her chores. I never thought twice about all this, until now. God, how I miss them all.

Now it’s just me. In a bright, hollow room. In someone else’s house. With someone else’s bed. And someone else’s family.

But living my own life.

I’m settling in with time. But don’t want to settle down too much with this new routine. Coz more changes will follow. New things in place of the old. And then I’ll have to start from scratch. Again. And again.

What does it mean to be a lover?

The following is an extract from the book, Chicken Soup for the Couple's Soul. This specific article is written by one of the authors, Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D.

What does it mean to be a lover? It is more than just being married to or making love to someone. Millions of people are married, millions of people have sex- but few are real lovers. To be a real lover, you must commit to and participate in a perpetual dance of intimacy with your partner.
You are a lover when you appreciate the gift that your partner is, and celebrate that gift every day.
You are a lover when you remember that your partner does not belong to you- he or she is on loan from the universe.
You are a lover when you realize that nothing that happens between you will be insignificant, that everything you say in the relationship has the potential to cause your beloved joy or sorrow, and everything you do will either strengthen your connection or weaken it.
You are a lover when you understand all this, and thus wake up each morning filled with gratitude that you have another day in which to love and enjoy your partner.
When you have a lover in your life, you are richly blessed. You have been given the gift of another person who has chosen to walk beside you. He or she will share your days and your nights, your bed and your burdens. Your lover will see secret parts of you that no one else sees. He or she will touch places on your body that no one else touches. Your lover will seek you out where you have been hiding, and create a haven for you within safe, loving arms.
Your lover offers you an abundance of miracles every day. He has the power to delight you with his smile, his voice, the scent of his neck, the way he moves. She has the power to banish your lonliness. He has the power to turn the ordinary into sublime. She is your doorway to heaven here on earth.

Across the years

I will walk with you-

in deep, green forests;

on shores of sand;

and when our time

on earth is through

in heaven, too,

you will have,

my hand.

-Robert Sexton

crazy thing called love!

isnt love grand!?
wowowow i'm not the one who's in love! but its gr8 to see that most of my frnds are! there's ritika who's recently made a bf, n then there's netra who's started lookin lovelorn all of a sudden! then bhajji who smiles everytime he calls bt dznt admit that he's the one!! silly girl! n then there's milo! i dont know wht to do wid her! n kunal too...why cant they make up their mind! they both know theyre perfect for each other! oh btw i'm the mediator here! i have to patiently lend my ear to both these 2 n try and give them some words of wisdom! sigh! kunal's totally head over heels for milo, n milo knows he's become more than a frnd...bt u c the problem is nobody's sayin anything! theyre both thinkin bout the future! sure its a good thing...u shud think ahead..bt something tht hasnt even strtd cant hv a future! i wish they'd ferget abt whts gonna happen n concentrate on whts happening rt now! its not easy to find true love...heck i know that better than any1 else! bt its rt here infront of them n they're letting it go by! i wish they'd hold on to it or it might just b too late! jes keepin my fingers crossed for these lovebirds! hope everything turns out fine..for every1!
cya