Being the change

Disclaimer: This post just happens to coincide with the approaching Independance Day!

We are a great nation. We've got it all - the government, the democracy, the infrastructure, the public. The only thing is - they don't run. We don't make it run. But that's not the point. The point is, do we even want it to run?

We, as the general public are not happy. We crib about everything - no water, no electricity, our maids are charging more, the police department is corrupt, there's so much red-tapism in politics, petrol prices are going up, this isn't right, that's all wrong, yada yada yada. But we, ourselves make full use of these 'discrepencies' to our advantage. We bribe the cop when we're caught speeding, we keep 2 maids to run the house for us, almost every household can afford a driver, having contacts in government agencies helps us get our work done faster, we enjoy the holiday on voting day but don't vote... the list is endless. We talk about Westernizing the nation, but the point is you think we Indians can really shed our lazy, callous habits and live a life of discipline?

Before we start blaming the system for everything that goes wrong, we need to stop ourselves from choosing the easy way out everytime. In my opinion, it is a two-way road. We can't wait for them to change us. It's time we stopped being reactive, and be proactive. That's when we'll be able to call India a great nation in the true sense.

It's all fake

Caution: Controversial post ahead. Nor recommended for people with weak hearts. Really.

The other day while having breakfast, Mum had switched on to one of those zillion ‘spiritual’ channels on TV, where some very “wise” person was ‘imparting wisdom’. I couldn’t help overhearing what she was saying. The gist of what she was preaching was something like, Christians do this, Muslims do that, but us Hindus- we are supreme, we try and bring the world together…in short, we are God’s gift to mankind. I smirked, and told my mom to stop watching that crap. Of course she disagreed with me. What are mothers for, after all?!

Anyway, I thought about that TV programme on my way to work. I thought to myself, ‘how can they allow such a thing to be aired on national TV?’ The woman was clearly instigating religious differences. She was droning about Hindus as if we were the best thing to have happened to the world, and the others were all trash! It’s not like I’m against any God, I know we’re free to practice any religion of our choice. But what irks me is why they try to compete with each other in the name of religion. Are they so insecure about their foundation, that they have to judge their ‘success’ by the number of followers they have? We all know we’re not saints. What good is a man who prays every morning, and beats his wife every night? He just lives in the illusionary world he’s created for himself, about being good and benevolent. Every time he commits a sin, he validates it by telling himself, it’s in the name of God. I’m a good man. This is not a sin at all!

You want to know what we ‘Hindus’ actually do? Well, we’re a bunch of hypocrites who stab each other in the back, the first chance we get. We rape our women, burn them, even, and treat them like dirt most of the time. We fight with our family members over frivolous, materialistic things, and we do not hesitate to murder each other if we get the opportunity. We use expletives after every second word when we talk and think it to be the most natural thing in the world. We cheat. We steal. We hate. We conspire. We kill.

Ring a bell? The funny thing about this is, you’ll find these kinds of people everywhere. In every religion. I guess there isn’t so much difference between us after all. So why do we want to create disparities, when none exist?

Disclaimer: It’s not like I’m against any religion. I’m not. And I’m not even an atheist. It’s just sad to see how we have made it a discipline that is imposed on people instead of a way of reaching God. We’ve segregated ourselves into so many communities, it’s almost like there are breeding records for animals.

The Business of Emotions

If you live in New Delhi, you must be aware of the beggar menace here. They’re just about everywhere, but I feel their most common haunt are the traffic signals. However, the interesting thing to note here is that these beggars don’t just “beg”. They sell. And how!

It’s always amazed me to see how creative these people are. Traffic Signals are actually very good business playgrounds for these people. The innovation they bring in every single day is really mind boggling. From books to newspapers, from balloons to dusters, from paintings to idols, you get everything on the streets. Some of them are even pretty good gymnasts and perform flawlessly on footpaths. If it’s Christmas, they’ll sell Santa caps. If it’s Saturday, they come with a donation can in the name of Lord Shiva. If it’s Valentine’s Day, they sell just about everything from flowers to perfumes to all sorts of gifts. What I think was absolutely the last straw was when I came out from a movie hall after watching Taare Zameen Par, I was greeted by kid beggars carrying drawings that apparently they had ‘made’ themselves. You’ll know how this is relevant if you’ve seen the film, which talks about a dyslexic child who is a gifted artist. But anyway, the point is these guys play on our emotions so well, we almost miss it.

It’s not like they’re handicapped. If only they would put their creative skills to better use... I seriously believe they would make excellent marketing managers. It’s just sad to see all that energy go waste. I don’t pity them. Because they are capable of doing a lot more to sustain themselves.

Chapter Two

My first two weeks at my new workplace have been pretty decent. In fact, they were better than I expected. My first day, my colleagues- now my friends- went out of their way to make me feel at ease. They came to me and introduced themselves, showed a keen interest in me and my background…the works. It’s a small office, since they’ve just completed a quarter here in India and we are only about 16-17 employees in all.

Then I was told that we had an office outing planned that weekend. Our boss was going back to the States and we needed to sort of give him a farewell. My colleagues had planned to take him to Akshardham temple and then for dinner at TGIF. They also had prepared a li’l skit for him on “teamwork”. Now since it was too late to give me a part, I played the narrator.

Akshardham was fun. Hadn’t been there before so I was completely floored by it’s beauty. The intricate carving on the pink stone and marble walls was simply magnificent. And the place was huge. It didn’t feel like anywhere near Delhi, or India for that matter, coz it was spotlessly clean! And it looked even more gorgeous by night. And by the expression on my boss’s face, I could make out he was feeling pretty much the same way!

Around 6:30 pm we started back for Connaught Place, to TGIF. We were all starving and couldn’t wait to dig in. There was a 20 minute wait outside the restaurant, so we literally barged in when our turn came. We were about 11 of us, and trust me we all, including the biggies, stuffed ourselves till we couldn’t eat another bite. Drinks freely flowed and everyone was in a jovial mood. I felt as part of the group, not at all as a 5-day old employee.

Let’s hope the rest of the journey is as enjoyable. Keeping my fingers crossed!

Why arranged marriage is best for me

Yea so I’m talking about marriage. I mean it’s not exactly me talking, but I’m forced to think about it. After all I am 22 years of age, “ripe and ready” for my relatives to start talking and my family to start looking.

So yea, coming back to the title of the post: why arranged marriage is best suited for me. Well there are a number of reasons. I’ve given this a lot of thought (since these days, I haven’t got much to do) and have arrived at this conclusion.

1) Men are beyond me. If commitment is what they want from a girl and if that’s what they get, they outgrow it. They slowly start wanting to have security, then maturity, then cooking skills, then understanding, then patience, then space and eventually, they want to be left alone. Too complicated.

2) Kisi ne sahi kaha tha. Kalyug aa gaya hai. It’s impossible to find a guy who will (forgive me for being wishful and orthodox) love you for who you are and not the body you have. Seriously guys, there IS more to love than making out the whole time. I thought I’d found Mr. Right but apparently it was all wrong. So again, too complicated.

3) I have this funda in life: I can’t just be with someone I barely know, just for the heck of being with him. I have to be friends with the guy for an eternity, know him in and out, develop feelings for him (non forcibly), fall in love, think about the future and then step into a relationship. And that’s going to take a LOT of time and effort, and frankly I don’t have faith in my own decisions now, and neither do I have the patience.

4) If, for instance, the guy I end up marrying is a moron, guess what? It’s not my fault! I can easily nag my folks and tell ‘em “hey you found him, not me”! So life would be somewhat simpler, with lesser things to feel guilty about.

Besides, come on, they’re my parents. They would want me to be happy. How wrong can they possibly be in finding the right match for me? And there are so many people out there who are pretty happy with each other. And love’s only been reduced to a myth, or rather, an unattainable treasure. Only the lucky ones get to experience it. I’ve been lucky, just not lucky enough. And that’s OK.

Oh by the way, it’s not like I’m getting married right now. I still have a considerable amount of time. And honestly, I don’t even think I’m ready for this thing. This was just thinking aloud- sorry, forced to think. Aloud.

An empty realization

Does it ever happen, that in a relationship, you reach a point where you don't remember any of the reasons for being with someone? But you feel you just have to, coz it's the decision you've made? What do you do when you're the last priority for the person you love most? What happens when the reality you chose to ignore, comes and hits you in the face? And you're left alone, to pick up the shattered pieces of your heart?

Ignore this...

Haven't felt so utterly useless in a while now. Didn't go to work today, was kinda under-the-weather. Did a couple of follow ups, saw sappy crappy romantic movies on DVD, surfed mindlessly, and now blogging about God knows what. I used to have a life once, but now it's like I just don't ever wanna get out of bed.

Haven't touched a book in the longest time now. And I love reading! Shame on me. I'm giving up on my fav hobby! There's hardly anything I do anymore. I used to draw at one point, but that's seems futile now. There's so much work to do, to learn...but just don't feel like doing anything. I hate this...It's like this 'Lazy-Ness' monster is taking over my brain, and I'm letting myself being led into a being this boring, good-for-nothing laptop-starer...is that even a word? Ah who cares!

I hope it's cloudy today evening...so I can drag myself to go take a walk. The sun gives me another reason to stay indoors. Jeez, I have no will power. Ok enough. I gotta stop now...come on, fingers, stop typing...stop it! Gosh there we go agen...whatever, folks...I'm outta here!

Occupational Hazards

I didn’t quite expect it to be like this. Actually I don’t really know what I expected.

Before you get ideas, it’s my job I’m talking about.

Public Relations, I thought, was about people with great persuasive skills, writing skills and speech skills. I was right. But what I didn’t know was, that it is a highly stressful and thankless profession. At one end, you have to satisfy the client who believes it’s his birthright to offload the most menial forms of work onto their PR agency. On the other hand, it’s the journalist who will throw tons of attitude and give you a cold shoulder all the time, as if he’s God and you’re at his mercy. Then there’s your own set of managers who keep giving you deadlines that you simply have to meet, or they’ll give you a look that’ll make you feel like the most worthless piece of shit on the planet. And to top it all, you always have to have a smile plastered over your face and repeat the same thing, again and again to a variety of journalists. If one of these guys don’t kill me soon enough, I’ll probably commit suicide myself.

Anyway, this is probably the fate of most PR professionals. There’s not much we can do about it. Of course, there are certain exceptions too. Some journalists are actually quite sweet, and hear you out patiently. And some clients as well, who have a decent understanding of the media, don’t treat you like a slave. And thankfully, my managers know when to let their hair down and give me a break. But then, I’m human. I need a reason to crib.

It’s not like I’m unhappy or dissatisfied with my job. It’s too soon to say that. I mean, it’s been, what, 4 months, since I joined? I guess what I’m saying here is, I’m stuck between the being out-of-college and starting-work phase, and it’s going to take me a while getting used to working with professionals and their deadlines. Till then, I suppose, this blog will be the vent to all my frustration. Tough luck for you guys tho! ;)

I’ve had just about enough of it. Getting the cold shoulder… it’s come to a point where I just don’t care anymore. I’ve quit trying. I don’t fuckin care. No passion, no excitement, no love… nothing. No more Miss Goody-Goody. This time I’ll be the one turning my back to the world. Jump off a building and kill yourself. I. Don’t. Care.

Ties that bind

This might come across as a rather strong post. I would like to inform my readers that the following are simply my thoughts and I do not intend to hurt any person or community with this post. So if somebody does feel offended, I apologize in advance.

Religion. One word I dislike from the very core of my heart. What was meant to bring people together has been the key aspect in bisecting them. What was meant to be an expression of freedom, has enclosed us within its framework of “rules and regulations”.

India is an amalgamation of scores of religions and communities. There’s the Muslim community, the Christians, the Parsis and the Hindus. The Hindu community itself is divided into a number of other communities, each following their respective religious convictions. Diversity. Something we, as a nation, were once proud of. But its driven us so far apart from each other, that we cringe at the thought of any sort of union within two different sections of society.

I wanted to talk about how the ‘outside’ communities operate. But then I thought of our very own Hindu religion. Take my own, for instance. I’m a Punjabi, closely related to the Sikh community. We all know what Sikhs are ‘supposed’ to do. Both men and women aren’t allowed to cut their hair. They’re all supposed to carry 5 things with them at all times (kada, kanghi, kataar, kesh and kachh) or else they’ll be declared ‘unfit to be a part of Sikhs’. They have to marry within their community, though now-days some families are relenting.

The Bengalis. Caste is given top priority here. People are excluded from the right to enter a temple just because they don’t belong to certain caste. You are not allowed to touch or eat in someone else’s house if they are not part of your caste or you’d become an ‘untouchable’ yourself.

Tamils. Again ruled by the caste system. Tamil Brahmins have the monopoly on God and they are the only ones who have the legitimacy to "speak" God-tongue: Sanskrit. They are given the highest regard in society. Strictly vegetarian, they have to wear a thread on their bodies at all times to prove their ‘brahminness’. And of course they’re adherence to time is a known fact. Everything has to be done at a certain time or else it loses its purpose. And marry outside the caste (leave alone community), all hell breaks loose.

I have a great problem with the caste system especially when those who practice it do not even do the job that caste is supposed to do. Segregation and untouchability are beyond the pale in modern society. Even the delineation based on job classification is stupid in a modern societal context.

There are also the perceptions we have formed about persons belonging to a specific community. We see a Sikh and pass him off as a moron. A Muslim has to be a sadist. A Bengali is considered a glutton. A Tamilian- dark skinned race. A Marwarhi has to be a ‘business-minded’ trader.

Why? Why this disparity? Why this hesitation to accept people as they are, whoever they are? We have breeding records for animals. Why brand one another? Why can’t we be human first, and communal later?

An anonymous Tamil poem says it all. The girl thinks her lover might forsake her and go away without marrying her. The boy then allays her fears. He says:

My mother and your mother, how are they related!
My father and your father, in what way are they related!
Me and you, did not know each other before!
Like the rain that mixes with the red soil,
Our hearts full of love have got mixed with one another!

****ing Chinese

They're doing it again! The stupid Oriental brutality is at its best. Killing dogs. Oh I'm sorry did I say 'killing'? That's too small a word. What I meant was 'butchering' or 'slaying' or 'slaughtering' innocent creatures for no reason at all. I don't know what sadistic pleasure these fuckers derive from it.

They werent satisfied with murdering 50,000. They wanna take the number upto 5 lacs. That's nice isn't it? They might even enter the World Records for the highest number of innocent animal deaths. Might as well kill humans.

Theyre killing each and every dog they can lay their slimy hands on under the false pretext of 'eradicating rabies'. Gimme a break! What's the idea of paying the owners to kill their own pets?? Who gave them the authority to do that? And theyre beating the dogs to death in front of their guardian's eyes. For the love of God, can anyone tell me WHY!??

?

Sixteen years. Sixteen years of torture. Sixteen years of living in hell. Sixteen long, never-ending years of tears, pain and self pity. And finally, there’s light.

She was the average girl-next-door. Someone who you could easily miss in a crowd. A girl with small eyes and smaller dreams. She didn’t want much from life. She just wanted to get married, start a family and spend the rest of her life taking care of her loved ones. When her parents got her married, she thought she could cross one thing of her wish-list. Little did she know that her entire world was about to be turned upside down.

They looked like nice people. They demanded huge amounts of dowry at the wedding, but since that was ‘the trend’ then, no one thought too much of it. She left her small town to go and live in the big city. The cruel, materialistic, monstrous big city. Soon the nagging demands started. More dowry. More money. And if she resisted- physical torture. The bruises soon became prominent. Swollen face, burn marks, sore eyes, scratches all over. She began hating herself. She thought she deserved it. And bore it all. Sometimes, she tried running away. But always came back. They’d sweet-talk her into believing they’ve changed. He’s changed. But they never did.

A year or so later, she became a mother. Her hopes rose. She had someone she could call her own. She’d give her daughter the life she could never live. They cursed her even more for giving birth to a girl. But surprisingly, the father was affectionate towards the daughter. Not the mother though. His hostility towards her grew more. He still beat her whenever he felt like, but never harmed the child. As the little girl grew, she became more inclined to her father. She listened to all that he said. And she saw the way he treated her mother. And caught on. Her daughter, her only hope, had turned her back against her.

Her family back home tried all they could to bring peace. But in turn, they got only insults and humiliation. And criticism from all the relatives. Days turned to months, and months to years. She realized she was no longer the young girl she once was... the gray hair, the sagging skin…she was only a shadow of her past. She forgot what it was to be carefree and happy.

They sent her daughter out of the city to pursue her studies. Her husband became even more violent after that. Returning late at night, beating her just for ‘fun’. She couldn’t take it any longer. And then one day, after sixteen years, she decided she had had enough and fled. She broke away from that prison cell and never looked back.

Divorce. That’s all she can think of. No more living with the devil, no more bowing to his every whim. She had wasted sixteen years of her life trying to survive in a hell hole. No more.

This isn’t a work of fiction. It’s a story about someone I know personally. And I’m completely in awe of this person. But I’m also very surprised to see that social evils like dowry, wife beating, preference of a boy over a girl child, are still very much alive. How long can women be oppressed like this? We say India is developing. Sure it is. But only on the surface. Social ills are rooted inside us. This narrow mindedness is something that we do not wish to depart with. We still expect the woman to be silent and keep on bearing just because she’s ‘supposed to’. When I hear educated people talk like this, it makes me wonder what education really means. After sixteen long years, this woman has decided to fight. She finally saw light. What about the rest of the countless women who endure all this agony without even knowing that it’s wrong. Will they ever come out of the dark ages?

Ostracised even in death

I came across an article in the Hindustan Times yesterday that made realise something I had chosen to ignore. The bitter truth of the existence of uneducated, backward masses in our country and their sheer ignorance to listen to reason.

Asha Devi waited beside the body of her husband for two days but the villagers of Khaira in Bihar’s Dharbhanga district shunned her house. Neighbours murmured that if they stepped inside the house, they would contract a killer virus. The reason: Asha’s husband Surendra Kumar had been HIV positive.

The widow had to drag her husband’s body all on her own to the backyard of her house and cremate it with twigs and leaves she had collected.

This is the reality of a state where NGOs and government agencies spend hundreds of crores every year to spread AIDS awareness.The government’s slogan of ‘Fear HIV, not the HIV patient’ does not seem to have reached this tiny hamlet.

A few years ago, another family was boycotted at Hathuri village in Muzaffarpur district after four members died of AIDS. The villagers treated the family as a pariah until the government intervened.

All this goes on to show awareness alone won’t help. Attitudes must change too.

The teacher from hell

College life is sooo much fun! Three long, carefree years. But there has to be a catch, right? Well, there is. A teacher, who derives pleasure in making us poor, innocent girls cringe. Let's call her AS, though I'd love to add another S, and an H and an O and an L and an E. But let's leave it at AS for the time being. She reminds me of that slick-talking tyrant nurse from 'One flew over the cuckoo's nest'. Except she doesn't have the looks. Or the brains for that matter. AS is huge, she must have a lost universe inside her massive belly. And her head is equaly round and fat. It seems she soesnt have a neck...looks as if a big white ball of skin is stuck to the rest of her body. If she'd been cute, she might have resembled a snowman, or a snow-woman, to be precise. But she's far from cute. She's a vamp who plots new ways to trouble us, and then sits back and watches us squirm! Sometimes, she comes out with the dumbest and most irritating excuses to hold out attendance. And sometimes she'll force us to come to college, and then won't turn up herself!! And recently, she's trying her best to ruin our last 6 months in college by interfering with our internship and projects. Sometimes I wish I were an assasin...I'd shoot her without question. But then I figure, she gets a whole lotta curses from the 38 of us, plus our juniors who are about 50...and of course those who have passed out mustve cursed her too! So with so many bad wishes lined up, AS is sure gonna die soon...rt?? She's gonna rot in hell for sure!

The Rape of Humanity

Man holed out after raping baby girl

Assistant Police Inspector Shrikant Desai did not go home for 30 hours.

On Tuesday afternoon he along with sub-inspector Shyam Naik and the detection staff at Deonar police station arrested 35-year-old Ram Kishen Surajmal at Chikalwadi, where he had been hiding after allegedly committing one of the most perverse sexual crimes in Mumbai’s history.

Harijan, a labourer from Ganesh Nagar chawl, Sate Nagar, Mankhurd, allegedly raped a 10-month-old girl on Tuesday night. “The incident may have occurred between 8 and 8.30pm on the highway.
Harijan took the girl from her mother on the pretext of playing some games. It was dark and Harijan used a truck as a shield to rape this girl in the most heinous way,” said the officer.
“Harijan knew the victim’s family as the girl’s mother said that he had earlier taken the girl to play. Hearing the incessant cry of her daughter, the mother ran and saw her daughter in a pool of blood and Harijan in the act. Seeing the mother, Harijan fled. The mother later filed a police complaint,” said Desai.

“What’s shocking is that the accused has indulged in ‘natural’ and ‘unnatural’ sexual activities leading to heavy bleeding in the anal and vaginal area,” he said. The girl was admitted to the Sion Hospital, where she had to be operated upon.

Harijan was taken to the Nagpada Hospital for a medical exam. The police have registered cases against him under Section 376 (2F) and Section 377. “I’ve never seen such a gory sexual crime in my life. This man is a rakshas,” said Desai.

Is there no justice? None at all?

Trust...?

i always thought it was easy to trust people. so i take everyone at face value. i have had a few jolts in life bt i thought that ws all a misunderstanding. but now as i'm growing older i find so many two faced people around me. in front of my very own eyes i have seen people change sides. someone who i considered a friend turned against me...bt behind my back. i hate backstabbers. why cant people be honest? and they pretend everything's fine bt as soon as u look away they'll stick a knife in ur back. sometimes i wonder if trust even exists today. how can u tell who's ur friend and who's a traitor? will i become a liar myself?

Terrorism

when i first heard bt the russian seige i didnt know wht to feel..pity or immense rage. pity for those poor children who were kept as hostages for 2 days..or rage for those assholes who cud do such a cruel thing. i mean children for god's sake!! is there no humanity left in this world? wht the fuck did they do to those conniving bastards!? its amazing how disgusting humans can be..how low they can stoop for their material needs. n we call ourselves a race above animals..! bullshit! we're lower than scum! terrorism has shown its ugly face yet agen.. bt this time theyre targeting kids..man they must b sent from hell..they have no shame, no fear no sympathy when they shoot them. they've made it clear that in terrorism no one is innocent..n no one will be spared. theyre heartless creeps who have come on earth only to destroy n hurt. if ever they seek salvation..even death wont accept them...

Independence?

hi
today is a special day for my country..the 15th of aug. its when we got our independence. after so much fighting..both verbal n physical..n so many sacrifices we finally got it! bt u know i sometimes wonder whether we really care bt it now tht we have it? its been 57 years n boy thts a long time! oh sure we crammed all abt the freedom struggle from our history books in school n managed to get a decent grade! n yea our patriotic instinct does surface a bit whn we see those movies abt our soldiers n revolutionaries..bt u know the minute we walk out the movie theatre it goes as quickly as it comes...n m talkin abt approx 90% of ppl..including me. coz then we're faced wid reality...we realise tht mayb our revolutionaries sacrificed themselves for nothin...tho the britishers are out for good...the condition of the ppl has hardly improved. women (at least those in rural areas) are still treated in the same inhuman way, beggars are a still a common sight, n so many ppl cant earn a day's meal n go to sleep starving, there's no food, no water, no shelter n no clothing. graduates are still moping the street unemployed...the list can go on. 57 years have passed n everything is still where it was. yea ok some believe we hv developed..u mite say i being a girl can freely talk bt my views today. yes i certainly agree. bt i like few others am an exception. because my folks work hard, they cud give me a decent education n buy me good clothes to wear...bt m only one of the more fortunate ones. a girl my age works in my house as a servant..she had to run away from home, leave the school she was attending in her village because her father wanted her to get married to some old joker. i can place hundreds of such examples. i feel so sorry for her..n i notice the sad look in her eyes when she sees me goin to college. is this wht we call independence? whr is independence? is it really there?